even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
