we're blogging at a bar
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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