OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
did i just pee glitter
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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