Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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