Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
