Me too!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
