I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
