You kept calling me your small dog last night.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
