At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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