Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
