dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
