Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
