So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
