my mouth tastes like poor choices
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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