naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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