i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
