they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
