He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I want to fling myself into the sun
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize