I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
