Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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