take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
