hotel room ftw
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
