I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
