I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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