i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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