dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
