do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
