Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
