I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize