WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
