if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
