I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
