You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
