then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
