Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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