Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
