Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
