I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
