She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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