Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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