I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
