There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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