just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Randomize
