Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize