I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Found your dick twin last night
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
