Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
