I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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