...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
