he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize