THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
