we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
