You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
