Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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