I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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