im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
