How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
