New low: just hacked my moms facebook
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
