true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
