SEEEEXXX PLEASE
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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