i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
