I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
