I'm really into asian looking animals
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
