Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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