It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
