I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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