Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
